Today is the first day that I am really trying to get things back to normal after finding out about Aj's tumor. Life must go on and for me this is the only way that I can deal with what our future may hold. If I keep myself busy with my household chores, work and the baby I do not have time to think about the "what if's". Last night after everything was done and our company had left I got that knot in my stomach and my mind wandered to the "what if's". That is the scary place and I am desperatly trying to avoid going there. My imagination takes over and I have to remind my self that there is just no point in worrying until we know more. Right? This is what I keep telling myself over and over: My baby will be okay. He is not sick. Look he is laughing and smiling right know. We are just making a big deal out of nothing. I keep repeating this every time I go to that "what if" place. I remind myself that there are families out there going through worse things than I am right now. I need to be strong for them, for my self and for my child. We will get through this, what ever this is. I am strong, my family and friends make me even stronger. I am praying for all the families out there who are going through pain that is just so much worse than mine.
I am so blessed.
